if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
