Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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