We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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