Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
