Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i think i have herpe
just one?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
