I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
