Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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