Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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