forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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