u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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