I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
