I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
