the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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