Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
