upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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