dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
