Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
