I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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