he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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