I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
