I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
