Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
