she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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