Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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