you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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