We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
