I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize