i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
