im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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