By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
