well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
