You work out of a Hotel?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
