Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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