Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
