Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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