3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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