So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
