What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
