Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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