Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
