We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
