It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
