To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
