Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
