summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
NoShamevember. You game?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
