i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize