Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so that wasnt chicken after all
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize