Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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