I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
two words: eviction party
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
