I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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