How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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