ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
