Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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