This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
