Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's paint friendship bongs
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize