You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
