The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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