Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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