i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
