Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
