you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
