Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its not stalking. its research.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
