what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Drunk is not a location!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
