Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
