I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
